Needs to further develop hypothesis
This response submitted by Andrea Burnett, Dan Pribble, Jeremy Anthony
(burnetan@muohio.edu) at 11:11 pm on 3/7/00.
Additions were last made on Tuesday, March 7, 2000. Section: Cummins.
Overall, this proposal was well organized and relates well to the course and topics discussed therein. We think the existing ideas behind your project are relevant and important in the study of sociobiology. However, there are many areas of the proposal that need further development.
First of all, this project has no clear thesis. It tries to address the issue of dominance hierarchies in society, yet does not make a prediction about the reasons behind these hierarchies. You mention that you think there is a ìvestige of a reasonî for the existence of dominance hierarchies, but it is important to address the nature of that reason. Is it biological, social, evolutionary etc? In order to carry out an experiment on this topic, there must be a more concrete hypothesis and argument on the origin of this reason for ìbullying.î
As far as the effectiveness of the argument goes, it is hard to assess this criteria because the exact nature of your argument is very unclear. This proposal speaks of dominance and social hierarchy, yet it does not draw on any of the existing arguments and issues surrounding these topics. If just a few further steps are taken in developing your argument about the origins of dominance hierarchies, then there is a great potential for a very strong project. However, until these steps are taken, judging the effectiveness of your argument is difficult as it is rather nebulous.
The experimental method of using a survey to assess peopleís experiences and views on social hierarchies is an excellent approach. However, in your proposal you do not address what exactly you are trying to assess with this survey. Reference is made to discovering a reason for dominance hierarchies through the survey-- this is not a good approach because your survey should be designed to test the reason that you will put forth in your hypothesis. The survey should be made in a way that it can validate or discredit your hypothesis. It should not be implemented as a means of forming your hypothesis. The survey reads as though it is attempting to draw out an expected answer rather than putting forth objective questions that will yield true knowledge. Also, how do you plan on interpreting the results of your survey? You mention that your survey is weak quantitatively, how can that be improved upon? Perhaps you can make a gradient of responses ranging from 1-5 or 1-10, and use this gradient to statistically assess the validity of your hypothesis.
You did a good job of mentioning many of your sources in your proposal. It seemed, however, as though mentioning the sources was as far as you went. The sources werenít explored in depth. More should be put forth about the actual arguments within the sources and how those arguments relate with each other and your project. You have a good amount of sources and many of them are very current. However, there are a few sources dating back to the 60ís and 70ís that could present questionable information depending on how they are used. Proceed with caution. You use both books and journal articles, but perhaps a few more types of sources such as internet sources could add more perspectives to your project.
This project relates well to the study of evolutionary psychology. Your proposal should address how it relates and why it is important to the course. You have integrated some course readings into your study, and it is clear that many of your outside sources also have a heavy emphasis on evolutionary psychology and other behavioral sciences. Addressing how your project relates in terms of a ìlarger pictureî is necessary in order to show the functionality of your project in the real world.
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