Loyalty

This topic submitted by Aja Brooks and Wendi Wallace (wallacwr@muohio.edu) at 1:11 PM on 4/30/02. Additions were last made on Wednesday, December 4, 2002. Section: Dorsey.

1. Introduction
a. Purpose/Problem - We are exploring the topic of loyalty on Miami’s Campus. More specifically, we would like to research the ways in which loyalty can effect friendships and they way loyalty manifest itself in romantic relationships.
b. During the course of this study we would like to explore the college psyche and their view of relationships. From this study we should be able to decipher how important it is to the average student to invest time and effort into romantic and social relationships. Likewise, from our results we will be able to analyze how the levels of faith in a friendship or partnership may vary due to loyalty. Moreover, we will apply the theories of Wright to compare and contrast the college student’s behavior to previous studies, books, and articles.
c. The relevance of this project comes from two distinct sections of our course, trustworthiness and loyalty. Throughout our study we will focus on how one develops their ideas and perceptions of loyalty and relationships. What we would like to do is apply our text to the real world, more specifically college life. Furthermore, we will be able to connect mate choice to loyalty and how that can potentially affect a relationship. Ultimately, we can apply this study to our own relationships and lives.
2. Relevance of your research Question
a. As of the moment there have not been many psychological tests that explore the concept of loyalty. In our study, not only would we like to explore loyalty between partners, but also between friends. So far the studies that have been conducted are psychological testing among partners/mates to reveal an individuals satisfaction in their relationship.
3. Materials and Methods
a. During the course of our experiment Wendi and I interviewed three couples with a series of in depth questions that explore trust, character, and more importantly loyalty. By asking these questions we will be able to discover how strong the couples relationships are and how dedicated they are to each other. All of the following couples have dated for at least six months and believe that both are dually committed to their relationships.
b. The participants in our experiment are as follows: Monique and Dante, Jessica and Mark, and Nina and Eugene. During the experiment the participants were guaranteed that only the conductors would see the answers to their questions. Following our separate interviews with each couple we reviewed the answers of each participant and analyzed the validity of each relationship.
c. In addition to the in depth interviews, we conducted a ten question survey which was handed out to the general student body and faculty to gain insight on Miami’s perspective of loyalty.
d. The following is an example of the in depth survey given to the six participants:
Loyalty and Trust Survey

1. Would you say that relationships between men and women have become a lot better, somewhat better, somewhat worse or a lot worse compared to 20 years?
2. What’s the one thing that has improved a lot in relationships between men and women?
3. In your judgment, what one thing needs improving the most?
4. What do others think about your relationship?
a. How do you think about or refer to your relationship?
5. What effects do separation or distance have on your relationship?
6. How do fights affect the relationship?
7. Are you selfish or selfless?
8. Are you a giver or taker personally in the relationship?
9. How does the relationship affect your personality?
10. How consistent are your feelings and the relationship in general?
11. How do you see each other?
12. Who understands the other side more, men or women?
13. Suppose he asked, “What is love?” what might you say?
14. Suppose that an attractive person of the opposite sex approaches your partner. Would you feel comfortable with them engaging in a friendly relationship?
15. Who is more selective in choosing a mate, men or women?
16. Does it matter to you how many sexual partners; your mate has had before you?
17. Is your partner’s religion important to you, does or will it affect your relationship?
18. What’s the main benefit for a man in a marriage? And a woman?
19. When a man and a woman enter in to a relationship who gets the better deal?
20. Even though your mate has cheated, you decided to stay. Why?
a. Financial Considerations
b. Impact on the children
c. S/He treats me so well in every other way
d. Why do that when I cheat also
21. You know all about having safe sex. In all honesty, how often do you put this knowledge to use?
a. Practice safe sex at least 95% of the time
b. Rarely if ever do I practice safe sex
c. I’ve engaged in high risk activity frequently
22. A close friend is having an affair. You haven’t said anything about it but now you are asked to provide an alibi for the cheating. You:
a. Yes, Without a second thought
b. Maybe, I’d have to be talked into it though
c. Absolutely not! That is beyond the scope of this friendship!
23. Which of these behaviors would you interpret to mean that your partner loves you?
a. Wants to be with me exclusively
b. Looks deeply into my eyes during sex
c. Passionate, breath taking kisses
d. Only hearing the words does it for me!
24. Would you rather win a $10,000 tax-free cash prize or have a year of great sex as much as you want?
a. Women want the money
b. Women want the sex
c. Men want the money
d. Men want the sex
25. One issue for many people is marriage. I’m going to read you 8 reasons sometimes given for why people should get married. Please tell me if each of the following is a very good reason, somewhat good, or not at all good reason to get married.
a. For Companionship
b. To be better off financially
c. To have a regular or safe sex partner
d. For love
e. To have children and bring up a family
f. To live a moral or religious life
g. For a man to provide economic and other protection to a women
h. For a women to provide comfort and family life to a man
26. Your partner’s ex comes into town and wants to have dinner with them. They ask for your opinion, how you respond?
a. Tell them to go and that you trust them completely
b. I would prefer that you do not, If you do then this relationship is over
c. If you go, I want to go with you
27. There was an article written in Teen Magazine to help you get the man that you desire. If you use these tactics do you feel that you have wrongfully deceived the man with which you are now involved?
28. Suppose you were at party and a member of the opposite sex approached you and began to make sexual advances toward you. You reject the advances but the situation is still of a compromising nature. Do you tell your partner?
29. Would you trust your partner in a long-distance relationship?
30. Rank the following aspects of your relationship, in order of importance.
a. Trust/ loyalty
b. Intelligence
c. Appearance
d. Reputation
e. Financial status
f. Religion

4. Discussion
First, we wanted to get a general feeling for the sense of loyalty on Miami’s Campus. In order to do this we passed out the loyalty survey shown above. We found that the common feeling was one of extreme to moderate loyalty. Also, most of the people surveyed believe that trust and loyalty are very important to any relationship. Most people believe that their family, friends, and romantic partners should be equally loyal. The community was split in terms of the worst example of disloyalty, as well as the way that they view betrayal.
When analyzing the data from the surveys we found an interesting correlation between the question on cheating in a romantic relationship and question of being loyal to a cheater (refer to questions 4 and 10). The people that said they had never cheated were more likely to be loyal to a cheater. On the other hand, those that are found to have cheated previously are more likely to distrust others who have cheated. From our surveys it seems that people who have never cheated have an idealistic view of how relationships should take place. In contrast, people who have cheated have an innate distrust for those who display personal behaviors similar to their own.
During the course of our interviews we found the following questions to be integral parts of the three relationships: One of the major issues for couples on any college campus is dealing with separation. The major component is the difference between love/loyalty and infatuation. Infatuation is based on the five senses therefore any distance for an extended period of time would be detrimental to the relationship. On the contrary, love knows no distance because it is linked to the person and thus is more apt to be loyal because it is not trying to fill a physical void.
Next, we observed the way in which jealousy affects the relationships. A common misconception is that the more jealous your partner is the more they love you. It is important not to misinterpret jealousy as love because there are many instances when it can turn violent. Love and loyalty allow you to be happy for your partner’s accomplishments and content that that they are well liked.
Finally, there is the matter of how the people who are involved in the relationship can change once involved with their partner. This is another time when we are able to distinguish between infatuation and love/loyalty. Infatuation pushes one partner to fulfill the wishes of the other. It does not take responsibility for its actions. Whereas the loyalty that comes with love would not push the limits and proceeds more responsibly.
5. Thinking beyond the project
One of the things that became apparent to us was that the way that our survey questions were worded made some room for interpretation. Another thing that would have been interesting would have been to see the difference between male and female ideas on loyalty. Which sex is more forgiving? Which is trustworthier? We could have created different surveys or simply had them to tell their sex, just so that we would know where these views were coming from.
Another thing that could have been more affective would have been to sit down with more than three couples. It would have a much different impact to look at couples at different stages of their relationship (ex. people who were together before college, graduating seniors, engaged couples, etc.). If we could it would also be interesting to ask people where there ideas of trust and loyalty come from; whether they are formed from personal experience or media.