Visions of Paradise, response from Hays

This topic submitted by Hays Cummins (haysc@muohio.edu) on 2/17/03. Additions were last made on Wednesday, February 19, 2003. Section: Cummins/Kaufman

Hello,

Thanks for the proposal submission. My comments below are gentle critiques meant to help improve your proposal. So,.......without further adieu

My comments (not necessarily in rank order of importance):

I like the vision of Paradise as the central hub of your proposal. Actually, I like it a lot and I appreciate the effort you have put into this.

Your proposal is very strong on the social sciences and humanities and weak in the sciences.

What is (are) your hypothesis? hypotheses? What specifc predictions do you have?
I am unclear as to what science you will actually be doing. I personally would like to see you, once you decide upon your scientific methods and rationale, sample Four Mile Creek, throughout the semester.

Your annotated bibliography needs to be expanded to include the sciences (well beyond what you have).

Your citations need to be incorporated into the body of your proposal.

You need a specific time-line, a week to week outline of what you'll be doing.

Does the Hudson River Art fit into this? I think so!

So, that's it for now. Nice job so far. I'm looking forward to your second revision. And, I'll be happy to speak with you at any time.

Regards,
Hays

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